As a tech parent I think one of the best things I did for both my son and daughter was for their first computer to help them to build and setup their own Linux computer (It was Ubuntu back then but they’ve both moved themselves to Arch these days).
We went together and bought a second hand desktop (exciting the people selling to us also) and when I got home I pulled out the Ram, HD and CD drive and set them aside; and then together with a screwdriver we “built the computer” over a few days.
In windows when a child goes searching the web for a “movie maker for windows” they are going to be in a world of hurt either finding expensive commercial options or super scammy sites promising the world.
By comparison on Linux if they search the local “app store” they’ll find stacks and stacks of free, useful, open licensed software.
My kids loved the power, freedom and later unexpected community this bought them.
Now my friend wants the same for their daughter who is 8 years old.
I’m planning to do the same and go with her parents and her and buy a second hand desktop together and then put Linux on it.
My question is where would you go from there? What suggestions do you have? What to install? Any mini “curriculums” or ideas?
Would love to hear your ideas and experiences. Linux with free and open software is the goal and focus.
My kids loved the power, freedom and later unexpected community this bought them.
I think it is also important to realize/point out that we do a lot of projecting and our child may have very different interests. Not saying that applies to you evolve2k, just wanted to make the general point.
I set up a Linux machine with our daughter and while it was initially ok, she did not have much interest in the power/freedom and it only became a nuisance for her. Her school/friends use PowerPoint - there is a lot of friction trying work with them in LibreOffice. She wanted to do DTP-like things several times and the Linux options are not exactly... user-friendly. Etc.
In the end we got her a Mac Mini. She can still open a terminal, use Homebrew, etc. if she ever develops an interest. Heck, she can use most free software. However, she can also do the stuff she is currently interested in much more easily. E.g., she uses Swift Publisher, which is a very simple/user-friendly DTP program, can collaborate on PowerPoint presentations when needed, etc.
First and foremost listen to what your child is interested in.
> she did not have much interest in the power/freedom
The reason I started with Linux with my kids is so they were aware that that power and freedom exists. Kids that grow up in a mobile ecosystem (and increasingly both the Microsoft and Apple ecosystems) are fundamentally disempowered, just as the adults that use that ecosystem are. The goal of having my kids use Linux was to make them understand that they did have agency.
Fifteen years on, I have to say it was an excellent decision. They're light years ahead of their peers in terms of their ability to use computers.
When forced to use Linux at an early age, I was given the agency to be made fun of and miss out on social things, i.e. discussing currently relevant games. It got me the jobs and knowledge eventually too, but I really did not learn much from blindly running ./configure and make and make install. I shudder to think exactly how my wine installation worked. There are significant downsides to using Linux and the freedom it brings needs lots of context to appreciate. If you don’t provide the context, Linux is not empowering- it is just a windows that works less.
> discussing currently relevant games
We shun most of this as faddish and low quality. Fortnite and Battlefield are replaced with OpenMW and Veloran.
If you're doing things blindly in Linux, there's no point. The value is in understanding and leveraging that understanding to achieve your goals.
In many ways, this isn't about Linux at all. It's about parenting.
> We shun most of this as faddish and low quality.
This is almost word for word the same way my parents talked about Harry Potter and Pokemon when I was feeling alienated in school for only being allowed to read religious books for entertainment.
It leads to some pretty strong resentment, if that's the kind of thing you care about.
My boys are sitting and reading through this with me as I make comments. They are very surprised by the resentment expressed by many of the comments.
My eldest read your comment and said that Battlefield and Fortnite are trash because of the multiplayer component that leads to gameplay that's low quality. He doesn't feel this way about Elden Ring, for example. In short, we exercise judgment.
It sounds like the difference may be— if your boys are able to make the comparison— that you also did not forbid them from those games? That would explain some of the difference from resentment in these areas that is often born from the material being banned. That leads to social isolation, because multiplayer w/ people you know is really not so much about the game mechanics compared to the shared social experience.
Developing social intelligence and not following social proof are two valuable skills that parents can develop themselves and with their little ones.
Just to be clear, I don’t think your parenting decisions here are harmful, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the centimeter thick gentoo manual. My only plea is to acknowledge the downsides- and it might well be the case they are minimal. I wish you luck and patience in parenting.
No worries. I'm here for the discussion, and appreciate how others see things. Thanks for your thoughts!
What does that even mean? How can we trust your kid's judgement of games they're not allowed to play?
When I was a kid I parroted my parents opinions about Harry Potter books being a pathway to practicing witchcraft. Now in hindsight I recognize those weren't so much my opinions as they were a performance to get my parents approval.
To be clear I'm not psychoanalyzing your kids (not liking multiplayer is rational), I'm sharing my own related experience.
The witchcraft angle as expressed included a personal interpretation that included being righteous towards and at the expense of others externally, to validate one's self internally. It's not the child's fault what they recieve without question and have to do the work to undo.
In the case of judgement, we can pick something simple like TV shows. A parent can speak to their kids about the addictive quality of some shows that leave them upset when turned off, vs 15 minutes of something that didn't and have them start to be aware of the difference, and how they seem to get bored of both and want to go back to the real world.
Doing that long before it's needed, allows the development of awareness, which as long as it's modeled by the parents, leaves the home as the important teacher of navigating the world, not the households of friends and teachers alone.
That's an opinion... All multiplayer games are bad.
I didn't want to paraphrase what he said too much, but since you're inquiring, I think the general idea is that multiplayer games strive for particular types of engagement and the techniques that companies use to drive that engagement is often negative. I can see that this also exists in single-player games, particularly in mobile apps. We tend to avoid those as well.
Multiplayer is a special category of risk in my opinion because I was an ever quest player and I built a feeling of responsibility toward the players that were relying on me and this led me away from schoolwork. I'm trying to avoid that same pitfall by still allowing them to game, even in a multiplayer setting, just only to a limited degree.
We simply try to avoid the games that are the most egregious in this particular way because they're the riskiest.
After a ~20 year break from first person shooters I’ve recently played Call of Duty Multiplayer and what struck me was how many superficial skins or various rewards were visible to others - it seems to steer the player to accumulate these things (through play or $), to show others in the game.
And the odd pumpkin heads (literally players with pumpkins as heads) running around coinciding with Halloween.
Very different than Counter Strike circa 2005.
Roughly the same mechanics but much more commercialised, playing to the psychological weaknesses of players.
I think you've articulated his point better than I could!
Gaming today is very much based in retention and hijacking the retention by any means necessary.
Playing originals is a different experience and possibly what might give kids a different experience of gaming.
A lower-fi game leaves more to the imagination as well.
Limiting reading like that is extremely restrictive and unnecessary.
I do not think it can be compared to choice of OS where you have to choose one per machine (unless you dual boot or run VMs).
I am guessing when you say "religious books" you mean a narrow range of books approved of by a very narrow minded religious group. Not much mention of, say, scriptures and mystics using sexual imagery, for example. right? Of the many deeply religious major authors who did not fit that particular groups views?
If you follow the context of the thread it should be clear my reply is about GP prohibiting their kids from playing games with their friends, not the OS choice.
My kids play games with their friends, just to be clear. What we don't do is pick up any game that their friends happen to be playing without evaluating it first. And this is a discussion that I have with my children, not some mandate from on high.
The discussion is the most important part because they see review and thinking it over modelled for them instead of told to them and decided for them.
>We shun most of this as faddish and low quality. Fortnite and Battlefield are replaced with OpenMW and Veloran.
My parents didn't let me read Song of Ice and Fire Harry Potter (and do a lot of other contemporary culture things) when I was younger because they said they are pop culture fad. Only haute culture literature in this household! I've had a good childhood but I also missed out on a lot of good things because parenting decisions like this.
And Fortnite is actually an awesome game, it's the mugen we were all dreaming for.
The point isn’t to play the best “non-faddish” games. It’s to play what’s in the zeitgeist and form bonds with people their own age.
I’m so glad my parents didn’t override my decisions on literature or video games or TV shows. I watched anime then, my parents didn’t get it, and that’s perfectly fine. I continue to enjoy it now. If they had made me adopt their mindset of “anime = fad” or “anime = cartoon = childish” I’d have been worse off. Instead of enjoying masterpieces like Frieren I’d be snobbishly thinking about what a fad it is.
We avoid fads because they come and go too quickly. My kids connect with their friends on games that are more enduring, like the From Software titles.
Again, that’s you substituting your judgement for theirs. There’s nothing wrong participating in a fad btw. Free time doesn’t need to be “productive” by only consuming something exalted like From Software.
I substitute my judgment for theirs as a parent; that's intrinsic in the nature of the job.
As I said in my previous comment, my kids chose the From Software titles because their friend group plays it, so I don't think that's a particularly good example of me substituting my judgment for theirs.
[flagged]
Your account has unfortunately been breaking the site guidelines repeatedly lately. Would you please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and take the intended spirit of the site more to heart? We'd appreciate it, because we're trying for something different here.
I think you’ve misinterpreted my tone in this thread, I really was approaching it because I was curious about his parenting style. But I’ve apologised to the other guy, because it wasn’t my intention to ruffle any feathers. (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45873355)
I’ve made a couple of nasty comments about Elon Musk recently. I’m unlikely to change the way I speak about him. I don’t speak about anyone else that way, as far as I know. You can ban me if insulting Elon Musk in particular and no one else is something you don’t like. It is my sincere belief that he warrants an exception, because of the damage he’s done and continues to do. You’re welcome to defend him and ban people who insult him in the name of upholding the rules.
>I’ve made a couple of nasty comments about Elon Musk recently. I’m unlikely to change the way I speak about him.
Writing like this is covered in the site guidelines:
"Edit out swipes"
I believe I covered this when I said
> It is my sincere belief that he warrants an exception, because of the damage he’s done and continues to do.
This site deteriorates when any of us put a personal belief above the beliefs detailed in the guidelines.
I respect your opinion, it is a valid one.
The issue is not tolerance, or intolerance; it's the site goal of pursuing "anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity" and doing so while we all, among other things,
>Be kind. Don't be snarky. Converse curiously; don't cross-examine. Edit out swipes.
>Comments should get more thoughtful and substantive, not less, as a topic gets more divisive.
None of that precludes us here from criticizing someone or something. It's a matter of how we hold such discussions.
> Don't be curmudgeonly. Thoughtful criticism is fine, but please don't be rigidly or generically negative.
You’re being curmudgeonly.
Please don’t break site guidelines. Take some time to review them.
I'm proud of my decisions and I'm not here to defend them. I'm here for the conversation because I'm interested in the topic.
I vetoed Minecraft and replaced it with MineTest because Minecraft has the hypixel community, which is essentially an MMO that's built inside of the world of Minecraft and dominates the Minecraft playerbase. I was worried that my 11-year-old would be too young to deal with a massively multiplayer game like that, so I prohibited Minecraft for him. The original joy of Minecraft when I first bought it off of Notch's site in 2009 was that you could build things and exercise creativity. I found that in the MMO versions of Minecraft, this is less of a focus. So instead I host a docker container with a minetest instance that we can all build in together.
I also vetoed Roblox because I feel that the entire economy in that game is going to be a net negative, particularly the aspect where kids beg their parents to use real money to buy them Robux.
But to your point, the list of things I veto is pretty small: I'm socially very liberal, and so the main thing I'm trying to filter for is games that are exploitative of their playerbase in some way. In the case of Battlefield and Fortnite, since I used those examples earlier, these are both games that my kids have independently decided they are not interested in; I think some folks read my original comment that I had removed Battlefield and Fortnite from my household. But if you look at my phrasing, I used the passive voice because it was basically a group decision to never really pick them up. I'm using weasel language because they sometimes go over their neighbor's house and have experience with those games, so I don't want to make it out like they've never played them at all.
Sorry about my previous comment. It felt to me like you were deflecting because I was asking about what you’d vetoed and it felt like you were saying you hadn’t vetoed anything.
I actually agree with your vetoes and your logic for the vetoes makes sense. An MMO is too much for a 11 year old. And getting kids hooked the real money aspect of Roblox will have negative consequences in the future.
Obviously I’m no one, but it seems to me like you’re a good dad. Good on you. Again, sorry for the contentious tone of my previous comment.
No worries! I enjoy the discussion, and thanks for the kind words.
I think you've justified your positions more than enough and it's clear you've thought through these decisions and made them along with your kids. Good choices on the game selection!
Forbidding Minecraft is crazy. Helicopter parent 100%.
Enduring based on what metrics? Fornite is now an 8-year old massively (and still is) successful game. And the Battlefield series is actually 7 years older than the Souls series if you count from Demon's Souls. Comparing these 3 games is even more absurd because they are from entirely different genres, and they are not mutually exclusive, one can enjoy more than one genre.
I agree with other commenters in here, I feel sorry for your kids and thankful that my parents didn't treat me like what you are doing with your kids now.
When I think about enduring titles, I think about whether the kind of game that you'd pick up 20 years later and still consider to be a good game. I raised them on a curriculum of games starting with 80s titles and as they got older I progressed them all the way up into the 2020s so they would have a perspective on where particular gameplay mechanics came from. I see your point about the longevity of the Battlefield series and Fortnite, but my impression is people don't go back and play earlier Battlefield titles: I have always viewed them a little bit like the FIFA titles where there is a constant treadmill of needing to buy the latest version of the game. This is not true for Dark Souls, for example -- it's a sort of game you could play in decades and it would be as much of a masterpiece then it is today. I didn't really mean to compare the titles, but rather to use them as examples of titles that I would approve or disapprove of.
My kids choose the games they play, but I exercise judgment in vetoing certain decisions. My example of the From Software titles were not games that I bought for them, or even played (in the case of Elden Ring), but rather titles that my boys were into because of their friend group playing it. They've been playing Night Reign lately and enjoying it. I think people read into my dismissal of Battlefield and Fortnite as indicative of some much larger pattern that they've had a really bad experience with, but I'm not sure that conclusion is warranted.
I was 100% on your side until you list FromSoftware games. As good as they are, they're a single-genre game developer that has a very narrow design and audience.
There's nothing more substantive or enduring about their games intrinsically, that's 100% you just projecting your own opinions about what games are 'enduring' onto your kids, and is not giving them the 'guidance' you seem to think it is.
Not really. I tend to favor single-player games because they can be effectively archived and played in several decades. Multiplayer games routinely just get killed by their publishers. So I do view single player games as intrinsically more enduring than their multiplayer counterparts.
I'm sorry you see it as projection onto my children. I'm keenly aware that many parents try to force their kids to live the life they lived, and I've been careful to not do that. But I understand that that's not coming through to you in this discussion. I appreciate the advice though.
> Multiplayer games routinely just get killed by their publishers.
You are confusing "multiplayer" with "massively multiplayer online" games. The vast majority of multiplayer games are not MMOs. There are tons of multiplayer games that you can run your own servers for, or which use P2P or local LAN connections to not require any publisher presence or support for.
Hell, set them up a Minecraft or ARK or whatever survival-crafter game server, and they can invite and play with their friends on it.
Yes! I'm a huge fan of those. Increasingly rare, though. Was trying to play No Man's Sky, Sniper Elite v2, Quake/Quake2 Enhanced recently with the kids and all required centralized multiplayer. Super disappointing. I do run servers for MineTest (Luanti, really, but ya know), Xonotic, Starcraft 1, etc. but connect-by-IP on an actual LAN seems like the exception these days, rather than the rule.
Out of curiosity, what games published after 2020 (just making up a year here) can you play on LAN with one player creating a server and another connecting via IP? It's my ideal setup, but it seems to only really be available in open source games.
> what games published after 2020 can you play on LAN with one player creating a server and another connecting via IP?
There are tons, it really just depends on what you want to play. Looking at my steam library (installed only, so I can verify there's a LAN option) gives me:
Misery, Necesse, Voyagers of Nera, Infinite Rails, Windward Horizon, 7 Days to Die, HumanitZ, Barotrauma, Avorion
Keep in mind that those are just from the MP games I have currently installed, that are from 2020 onwards. I have 131 mp games from that release period, and only 33 of those are installed, and I only checked games that I figured would be likely candidates (i.e. I excluded Sniper Elite 5, Remnant 2, MechWarrior 5, etc).
So yeah, LAN/ direct IP connect options are still really common, it's just something to check beforehand. Also, the genre really changes the likelihood of having it.
Some smaller titles in there, which makes sense! I'll admit I haven't heard of any of those games, so this may be ignorance on my part. I was thinking of the games from the bigger studios and their general desire to retain complete control of the multiplayer aspects of their games, but I concede that while they have the most players, they are not most of the games. =)
Appreciate you doing some legwork to make your point!
Come on, you can't claim with a straight face that something like Sekiro is not more substantive or enduring than, say, that Rocksteady Suicide Squad game.
Yeah, I'd mentioned the From Software titles because they have received universal acclaim. They were intended to be an example that was not contentious. So much for that!
I feel so sorry for your kids. They deserve a better parent. Remember: your kids are NOT you and they DESERVE to have agency in their lives EVEN if it goes against your interests and desires.
My job is to guide them and use my judgment where their judgment is poor. That is intrinsic in the nature of parenting. Thank you for the guidance though. I understand that you feel strongly and that you hope my kids can be happy even though they're stuck with me as a parent. I do too!
That is such a sweeping statement. Part of what a parent does is guides kids to good decisions, and protect them from the consequences of bad ones. They need agency, and more as they get older, but you do not let them just do what you want.