Save your ass: make yourself a cup of cocoa!
FTFA:
"Forty young healthy men, 20 who had higher levels of fitness and 20 who had a lower level of fitness, consumed either a high-flavanol (695 mg of total flavanols per beverage) or low-flavanol cocoa drink (5.6 mg of total flavanols per beverage), before completing a two-hour sitting trial."
That last-highlighted phrase is you every day!
https://contentbash.com/who-are-butthole-surfers-facts-songs...
Butthole surfers - Pepper:
Not sure how the Butthole Surfers relate (the name, I guess), but I used to listen to them a lot in the 90's. There was a period where their name was considered "too offensive" and their album sleeves were labeled "B.H. Surfers" which just makes the whole thing more comical.
> This is the first time flavanols have been shown to be effective at preventing sitting-induced vascular dysfunction, in young healthy men.
How many times did they try before? Am I right to suspect p-hacking?
See earlier work, e.g., https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3835452/
FTFA (2008) ABSTRACT:
"The Kuna Indians who reside in an archipelago on the Caribbean Coast of Panama have very low blood pressure levels, live longer than other Panamanians, and have a reduced frequency of myocardial infarction, stroke, diabetes mellitus, and cancer -- at least on their death certificates. One outstanding feature of their diet includes a very high intake of flavanol-rich cocoa. Flavonoids in cocoa activate nitric oxide synthesis in healthy humans. The possibility that the high flavanol intake protects the Kuna against high blood pressure, ischemic heart disease, stroke, diabetes mellitus, and cancer is sufficiently intriguing and sufficiently important that large, randomized controlled clinical trials should be pursued.".